Have you had extraordinary moments during an Integral gathering? An unforgettable moment you replay over and over again in your thoughts? A moment so rich in love and desire that it sends you out looking for this connection again? An extraordinary moment that takes up life-long and permanent residence in all the locations in which memory resides? 

My unforgettable moment began routinely enough as a simple 1:1 exercise during a presentation at IEC 2018 in Hungary. I was partnered with Szandra Vereb…she was sitting close-by. Neither of us had any idea how we would be transformed by the energetic coalescence that was about to emerge. An energy that persists to this day in every chat and email sent from thousands of miles away. An energy that instantly returns us to a sacred place. An energy that altered the course of my research interest (We-Space and Highly Sensitive Person) that I can trace back to this encounter. It could have been overheard as just casual conversation. Not all that remarkable. What did she say? 

 I am pregnant 

“I am pregnant” are the words Szandra revealed setting the stage to ignite a flood of interpersonal resonance on that momentous day. A dynamic resonance where our widely separate life experiences were co-mingled in an instant. A resonance that was dependent upon two people who could hold open the container that cradled it. My response…only 3 more words. Words densely infused with 25 years of memories and experiences from raising two daughters that unleashed a torrent of energy. 

Oh my God. 

Ignition…we were both stunned and silenced by the non-verbal resonance that swirled within the field. Neither of us had language that could keep pace with what was co-emerging, about the future for Szandra and the past for myself… all in an energetic collision in the present moment. I can remember nothing that was said in these initial moments. Five minutes later (after the exercise ended) still reverberating from the experience, Szandra was able to say something… 

What was that? 

Only those 3 more words…I had very little to offer. Certainly nothing approaching a coherent explanation to her question. 

Two years later, having replayed and contemplated this encounter, revealed to me the following. It took two people with deep subtle awareness (including embodiment capabilities) to co-create this moment. I later learned that one of Szandra gifts is ecstatic dancing. I have found that dancers and singers are especially good at embodiment. In retrospect, I realize that her three words, “I am pregnant” could hardly hold the energetic love and the multitude of dreams of most first-time mothers; words that carried a primordial imperative to produce the next generation; words revealing an evolutionary declaration that was building for years to fulfill this very purpose. 

“Oh my God” was my initial contribution. Three words that strained under the tension of countless moments of love and joy that can come with being a parent. 

Potent memories exuding endless love…like when my daughter told me to look for the sunshine flowing-up from her throat and out from her mouth because I had previously told her that’s what happens when you eat papaya. Those knowing looks parents have with each other… joy, sadness, hope… that come with the deep devotion to one’s children. 

All of this, both the future and the past, faithfully focused and witnessed into an energetic present, between two strangers. Two sentient beings who showed-up and co-constructed a container in an instance, in which the energetic field fully formed. 

Two strangers who didn’t contract, who’s deeply held feelings were exposed in a moment of unsettling joy. Strangers no more, inexorably connected. An unforgettable encounter. And why I continue to travel afar to encounter people capable of co-creating unforgettable presence. 

Note: The Original Publication of this essay appeared in Academia.edu, 2021

https://independent.academia.edu/HabibTom